“Ever seen a tigress? It’s the kind ……”
“The kind that makes you hand over your wages, who doesn’t have one already? It’s not rare!”
“Huh? My family does not have, your family has?”
“My home, my home …… my home also do not have, do not want to harm me!”
Listening to the two immodest improvised comedy, Sha Yi can not laugh.
Not to mention the curry seniority and so on, just say the influence in the entertainment industry, these are not bad, teamed up to serve Sha Yi, he can not panic? Zhao Liya and Nie Yao were fine, but why did Guo Gangde and Yu Qian listen to Li Tiezhu so much?
There must be a conspiracy!
Sha Yi, who was scared of being screwed, his first reaction was …… that this time he might not be abused even more miserably.
All f*cking blame Sun Lei that Sun thief!
Guo Gangde and Yu Qian also said two minutes meaning, finished and went to see Li Tiezhu make noodles, Zhao Liya with Oh Kuan to go to the open space to practice listening to the command, Nie Yao went to Li Tiezhu boil water to cook noodles.
No one cares about Sha Yi anymore, his hands are a bit shaky, he picked up a bamboo cup and took a sip of tea, a bit bitter.
“What’s the situation? Do you guys understand what Tie Zhu means?”
He asked the cameraman and the staff.
No one answered him, because, who the hell knows what Li Tiezhu is thinking in that dog’s head? He never plays by the rules.
Li Tiezhu made the noodles, took the rest of the noodles and rolled out ten dumpling skins, and started to make more meat for the filling.
Yu Qian: “Drink! Really make dumplings na?”
Guo Gangde: “That’s right, Mr Sha’s order, can’t he not be satisfied? If he’s not satisfied with the food, how can we mix in the circle in the future? The whole country won’t agree!”
Yu Qian nodded his head cheaply, “That’s a good point! If we don’t give Mr Sha what he wants to eat, that’s …… human and god’s wrath! Right Tie Zhu?”
Li Tiezhu: “Of course! The emperor star of the Chinese entertainment industry, if he can’t eat a meal of dumplings, do we still have the face to face the national audience?”
Guo Gangde shook his head: “Then …… wipe your own neck!”
Yu Qian: “It’s not so bad, is it?”
Guo Gangde: “Well! Quite so, the Chinese Imperial Star is the pride of the nation! The light of world civilisation!”
Yu Qian: “This is the first time I don’t know how to play the joke ……”
How can I answer that?
I can’t!
Li Tiezhu will pick up: “The second sun of mankind! The sky does not give birth to sand, and it is as long as the night!!!”
Yu Qian: “Ooh~”
Nie Yao on the side was twitching with laughter, thinking, “Good guy! This time this bast*rd Sha Yi is going to be on the hot search again, properly!
Sha Yi’s person went numb, and his face had an extraordinarily wonderful expression.
The pop-up screen was stunned:
“I f*cking …… serve!”
“These people are too inhuman ……”
“Poor Sha Yi.”
“China’s imperial star shines on the world!”
“I’ve cracked even!”
“It’s the first time I’ve seen such bragging, just blowing hard!”
“I’m a good bloke. I’m a good bloke.”
“God damn the light of world civilisation ……”
“Guo Gangde improper person.”
“Decent brother is even more awesome!”
“The second sun of mankind!”
“The sky does not give birth to sand yi Wan Gu as long as the night!”
“Worship the Emperor Star!”
“Thank you China Emperor Star for lighting up my life ……”
In short, Sha Yi was played by the audience pop-ups, since then, he was crowned the title of China Emperor Star, wherever he went, he heard the audience shouting “the sky does not give birth to Sha Yi, the night is as long as the ancient times”, life is everywhere is the scene of social death.
Even when there is a quarrel at home, his daughter-in-law will say in a conspiratorial manner: “Yo ~ who dares to be angry with you ah? You are the light of world civilisation, the second sun of mankind, blah blah blah ……”
Sha Yi is really afraid, these guys mouth is too damaging, but he will not say flirty words, can only walk over to make up for it: “Tiezhu, brother did not want to make things difficult for you ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Understand! Being Sun Lei brother cheated chanting, he is like that.”
Sha Yi: “Yes, yes, yes! He asked me to order more food, but he came like that …… Or the dumplings won’t be eaten, I’ll eat noodles too, no, I’ll drink noodle soup.”
Yu Qian helped out, “No way! If you can’t eat dumplings, we’ll go out and do comedy in the future, and we’re sure to be beaten to death on the spot.”
Sha Yi: “Don’t, you guys ……”
Guo Gangde: “Please, Mr Sha, let us make you dumplings, I want to live.”
Sha Yi: “……”
At this time, Li Tiezhu made the filling and started wrapping the dumplings.
Sha Yi: “Let me help you wrap it, I’m Northeast Drop.”
Guo Gangde pushes him away, “I don’t dare to bother you! You Prime, we’ll do it.”
Yu Qian also went to wrap the dumplings: “Let you wrap the dumplings? Are we still alive?”
Sha Yi was devastated, how did this happen?
He knows that these three are joking, but the joke is not so open, I f*cking society died ah! Later broadcast …… is again a public execution ……
Sha Yi can only sit back in the chair, full of despondency.
Oh豁 rushed over to bite him.
Zhao Liya hurriedly carried the dog away, reprimanded: “Bark at who? Do you want to die? Do you have a little bit of self-consciousness as a dog? The whole country can drown you with a mouthful of spittle!”
Sha Yi: “……”
It’s over!
The impact this time around definitely far exceeded that of Infinite Challenge.
That’s right, after the show aired, he not only caught fire all over the country, he also caught fire abroad, with all kinds of Mr Sha Yi’s ghostly emoticons paired with dangling text, such as:
“The idol of seven billion earthlings”, “The secret that aliens don’t dare to attack the earth is him”, “The origin of China’s forty years of national fortune – the ChineseEmperor Star”, “Even the Namba don’t dare to say he’s from the Namba”, “The great Sha belongs to all mankind”, “The Antarctic glaciers are melted by him”,”He is not the star of the Chinese empire, he is the centre of the universe”, “The birth of the universe and the emergence of life is to nurture a him” ……
After making the dumplings, Sun Lei came back with half a basket of pine needles on his back, and when he saw Shayi sitting dumbly in a chair and drinking tea, he would smile.
Still dare not help work?
You are dead.
See how resourceful I am? Come to Li Tiezhu place, is the dragon also have to coil, this point of force I still have.
“Noodles with mixed sauce? That’s great! Tie Zhu, is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Splitting firewood.”
“Okay, I’ll chop some more, and finish the next instalment too.”
Li Tiezhu was cooking dumplings, ten of them.
Sha Yi put down his teacup and walked over to watch Sha Yi chopping firewood.
Sun Lei looks at Sha Yi provocatively, “Is it fun?”
Sha Yi: “Not fun. You said you’ll give me back my mobile phone if I help you work, is that true?”
Sun Lei said, “Of course it’s true, but I’m not giving it back to you, I’m renting it to you.”
Sha Yi was in a good mood, finally a normal person: “Give me the axe, I’ll help you chop.”
Sun Lei smiled cheaply and handed the axe over.
Nie Yao rushed over to grab the axe, Guo Gangde ran over to help Sha Yi back to sit.
Yu Qian lifted his coat and went to add water to Sha Yi: “Drink! How can you work? Isn’t this a slap in our face?”
Guo Gangde: “That’s right, then Sun Lei, how can you let the Chinese Imperial Star work? You’re punished to go carry water after chopping firewood and fill up the water tank.”
Sun Lei was confused, “What the hell? What the hell is China Emperor Star? It’s not Shayi, is it?”
Nie Yao handed him the axe, “Daring! How dare you call Teacher Sha by his first name, you’ll be punished for cutting another basket of donkey grass.”
Sun Lei looked at Li Tiezhu: “This ……”
Li Tiezhu: “The voice of the masses is where the truth lies! Get to work! This is your path to self-salvation, only then will you be able to gain the understanding of the entire nation, otherwise, your life will be over.”
Sun Lei blinked his little eyes, “Why am I finished? What’s wrong with all of you? Did I miss something?”
Li Tiezhu: “No, it’s a blessing for you and me to be able to learn from Teacher Sha, please cherish it.”
Sun Lei didn’t understand, but silently chopped wood, Li Tiezhu’s words were still to be listened to.
Sha Yi suddenly said, “Inside …… Tiezhu? Can you let Sun Lei lend me his mobile phone? Dry sitting is weirdly boring.”
Li Tiezhu walked to Sun Lei without saying anything and spread his hands.
Sun Lei: “I stole it with my ability why should I give it back to him, it doesn’t make sense ……”
Words are so, but the body is very honest, he has taken out the mobile phone from the small backpack in front of him to give Li Tiezhu, Li Tiezhu and show his hands, Sun Lei put the razor and wallet also pulled out.
Li Tiezhu turned around and went to give it to Sha Yi.
Sha Yi: “Really gave it back to me? I’m not dreaming, am I? Not real ……”
Li Tiezhu said, “We are saving Sun Lei’s fallen soul.”
Sun Lei chopped wood viciously, “How did I fall? It’s you guys who are possessed!”
Sha Yi opens his mobile phone and prepares to play with it, when suddenly a loud bang rings out, scaring him so much that his phone falls to the ground, but luckily it doesn’t break.
Nie Yao: “Wait a minute! Connect to my hotspot first before swiping your phone.”
Sha Yi nodded in fear.
Nie Yao smiled knowingly and continued to burn the fire, “Hmm! My life …… is complete.”
Sun Leiren was dumbfounded, “What the hell?”
Pop-up:
“To be able to turn on a hotspot for the Chinese Imperial Star, Nie Yao can blow it for the rest of his life.”
“Worthy of being the light of human civilisation, even the action of spitting tea dregs is so dashing.”
“Obsessed with ……”
“His greasy round face flashes with the light of wisdom.”
“Primitive people are really fluffy!”
“What is Li Tiezhu’s virtue and ability to invite the Imperial Star to visit?”
Not long after, the dumplings were cooked, Li Tiezhu personally served them over to Sha Yi, Yu Qian took a pair of chopsticks and wiped them with his sleeve and handed them over, Guo Gangde served a stack of old aged vinegar with both hands, Nie Yao was half a beat slower to react and could only go over to help blow on the dumplings, they were strangely hot.
Zhao Liya couldn’t help but laugh at the side and didn’t join in the fun.
Sun Lei watched and almost had a myocardial infarction, why should I work and he ate dumplings? What’s wrong with these people?
“What happened just now when I wasn’t there?”
He asked the cameraman who was filming him.
The cameraman didn’t answer and just laughed.
Sun Lei knew there was a problem, grabbed a camera, and started to watch the replay, then …… he came to his senses.
The pompous acting began.
“Hi ah ah ah …… repent ah, just now I am lard blinded ah, actually steal the mobile phone of the Chinese Imperial Star, the sin is unforgivable! Teacher Sha, come on, take this axe and chop my hand off, right? Let me give the whole country an explanation!”
Sha Yi: “…… You know about it too?”
Sun Lei: “Just learnt about it.”
Sha Yi tried: “Let’s not chop the hand, right? I eat dumplings, do not disgust me. How about you help me with my work?”
Sun Lei: “Good! I’ll definitely clean up my act and start over.”
Guo Gangde: “We’ll supervise you!”
Li Tiezhu cooked a big pot of mixed sauce noodles, and several people ate it in one bowl each.
At this time, Wang Zhengyu came again with a large board, on which was written today’s task, to help a special hardship case family to cultivate a vegetable garden, and the work content was freely chosen by the guests, which were: clearing the land, inserting the seedlings, carrying the seedlings and picking manure.
Sha Yi’s eyes glazed over, spat the dumplings in his mouth back into the bowl, raised his hand and shouted, “I choose picking manure!”
Sun Lei looked at Sha Yi with a grimace.
