“Wiped out 40,000 Japanese pirates?! How could that be, absolutely impossible, it’s definitely not true, absolutely not!”
“How could it be possible! Wiped out 40,000 Japanese pirates! 40,000! This boast is so outrageous, even the cow’s been blown up to the sky!”
“Our Great Ming has stood for over a hundred years, with so many famous generals and commanders, yet none have ever wiped out so many Japanese pirates, 40,000, they really dare to brag! Why not claim 400,000 while they’re at it!”
“The Suzhou Prefect Shang Weichi and that audacious Zhu Ping’an, these two brazen fools, actually dared to falsify a victory report! They’ve eaten the heart of a bear and the gall of a leopard! For the sake of promotions and riches, they’ve thrown all shame out the window!”
After a few seconds of stunned silence around the dinner table, the officials erupted into a chorus of doubts and curses, refusing to believe the victory report.
The main issue was that the report was too exaggerated, wiping out 40,000 Japanese pirates, a number so large they couldn’t even fathom it.
Though they were far away in the capital, they knew how ferocious the Japanese pirates were, each one fearless and bloodthirsty, killing like it was nothing! A single pirate could take on ten men, their combat prowess was formidable, and they were sly and treacherous, incredibly hard to deal with.
Just a few months ago, a few dozen pirates landed at Shangyu in Shaoxing, charging inland, burning, killing, and looting all the way, capturing towns and cities in a string of victories, they stormed right up to Yingtian’s gates, brazenly galloping and brandishing their blades, showing off their might. Along the way, they killed four or five thousand Ming troops, trampling the Ming’s dignity into the dirt!
That one campaign had showcased the pirates’ ferocity to the fullest.
Such ferocious pirates, and Zhu Ping’an supposedly wiped out 40,000 in a single battle?!
Impossible!
Did he have hundreds of thousands of troops under his command? Without that many, how could he wipe out 40,000 pirates in one fight!
“Vice-Minister Wang, what do you think?” someone at the table asked Wang, the Vice-Minister of Personnel.
“I think there’s definitely something fishy about this report! Zhu Ping’an’s Zhejiang troops only number two thousand, to wipe out 40,000 pirates, even one against ten wouldn’t cut it, each soldier would have to kill twenty pirates on average, how could that possibly happen? Back at the Jihai battle, Zhu Ping’an only managed to take out just over three hundred pirates. How much time has passed since then, and now he’s wiped out 40,000?! Utterly impossible!”
Vice-Minister Wang of Personnel shook his head, refusing to believe Zhu Ping’an could achieve such a feat.
“Exactly, we all agree, either Zhu Ping’an’s lying about his military achievements, or he’s killing innocents to claim credit!” The others at the table nodded, agreeing with Wang’s view.
“Heh, I was wondering how to deal with Zhu Ping’an, and now it’s like a pillow delivered right when I’m sleepy. Zhu Ping’an and Suzhou Prefect Shang Weichi falsifying a report, that’s a crime of deceiving the emperor, execution wouldn’t be too much, would it? And if he’s killing innocents for credit, heh, even ten heads wouldn’t be enough to chop off.”
Luo Longwen stroked his chin, speaking with a sinister edge. He’d never bothered to hide his hatred for Zhu Ping’an.
“Heh, exactly, this is Zhu Ping’an digging his own grave, he can’t blame us for that. Even if His Majesty spares his life for past merits, stripping him of his post and banishing him to the common ranks is unavoidable.”
An official at the table nodded, echoing Luo Longwen.
“Impeach him!”
“Count me in, I’ll impeach him too, I’ll charge Zhu Ping’an with deceiving the emperor and breaking the law, I’ll charge him with killing innocents for merit!”
“I’ll go home and draft an impeachment memorial right away, rush it to the Office of Transmission, this time, we can’t let this rare chance slip by, we’ll make sure Zhu Ping’an has no place to be buried.”
The officials at the table eagerly declared their intent to impeach Zhu Ping’an, it was an opportunity handed to them on a platter, and they wouldn’t let it go.
Seeing everyone so enthusiastic about impeaching Zhu Ping’an, Yan Shifan was very pleased, nodding approvingly.
But Yan Shifan was a shrewd man, he gently raised his hand to quiet them down, then coughed lightly after they settled, reminding them, “Impeaching Zhu Ping’an is a must, but there’s no rush to submit tonight, first we need to get the specifics of the Suzhou victory report so we can target him effectively.”
“Right, right, Young Master Yan’s got a point, we can’t just take the victory messenger’s word for it, we need to see the details of the report, what Zhu Ping’an did in it, then we can impeach him properly.”
“Exactly, exactly, no wonder he’s Young Master Yan, so thorough and meticulous.”
After Yan Shifan spoke, the others at the table chimed in, eagerly flattering him.
Just then, a discordant voice rose faintly, “What if, I mean what if, the victory report is true?”
“How could it be true, wiping out 40,000 pirates in one battle, that’s absolutely impossible.” Someone immediately shook their head in dismissal.
“I know it’s impossible, that’s why I said ‘what if,’ what if the Suzhou report turns out to be true? Just preparing for the worst.”
The earlier speaker clarified.
Uh, right, you always have to plan for the worst, what if, what if Zhu Ping’an really did wipe out 40,000 pirates in one battle?
“Vice-Minister Wang, if Zhu Ping’an truly wiped out 40,000 pirates in one battle, how should he be rewarded?”
The man asked.
Vice-Minister Wang opened his mouth at the question, taking several seconds to respond, his mouth twitching slightly, “Based on our Great Ming’s reward and punishment system, and the reward decree His Majesty issued earlier, if Zhu Ping’an really wiped out 40,000 pirates in one battle, then, then I honestly can’t even imagine how to reward him.”
Bloody hell, last time Zhu Ping’an killed just over 300 pirates, it took me over ten days of wracking my brain to figure out how to reward him.
To avoid promoting him too much, I even bestowed honours on his mother, his wife, and his unborn child.
If he’s really killed 40,000 pirates this time, if we don’t want him climbing higher, we’d have to posthumously honour every one of his eighteen generations of ancestors, no, all 108 generations, and give them decent titles too.
But can we do that?!
If we did, it’d be the laughingstock of the world, never mind the ridicule, His Majesty wouldn’t even approve it, who’s ever heard of rewarding someone by honouring 108 generations of their ancestors? This isn’t a game.
But if we don’t, how high would Zhu Ping’an’s rank have to rise, it’s unthinkable.
“Lord Wang, unthinkable or not, you’ve got to think about it, you need to prepare for the worst, plan ahead.”
Someone at the table reminded him.
At that, Vice-Minister Wang clutched his hair in agony, how am I supposed to think about this? Killing 300 pirates tormented me for days, if it’s 40,000, I’d rather not live.
“If it’s really such a feat, Zhu Ping’an could go down in history for it, no reward would be too much, promotion and ennoblement would be a given…” Wang said, his face contorted as if in constipation.
“What?! Promotion? And ennoblement?” Someone at the table gasped, “Our Great Ming has an ancestral rule: ‘No title shall be granted without merit to the state or military achievement, and no title shall be bestowed without special imperial decree.’”
Ennoblement! That’s the ultimate dream of a scholar, it’s not just founding a noble house or securing honours for wife and kids, it’s a straight path to leaving your name in history.
Since the founding of the Ming, how many scholars have earned a title through merit? You can count them on one hand, aside from the founding trio of Li Shanchang, Wang Wenyang, and Liu Bowen, there’s only been three others, Wang Ji, Wang Yue, and Wang Yangming.
Those three were legends in their own right, Wang Ji repeatedly defeated the Tatars, pacified the borders, campaigned three times in Luchuan, quelled the Miao rebellion, and was titled Earl of Jingyuan; Wang Yue was even more impressive, a jinshi scholar who spent thirty years in the military, leading three campaigns beyond the frontier to reclaim the Hetao region, winning thirteen battles big and small, unmatched among scholars, his stellar military feats earned him the title Marquis of Weining; and as for Wang Yangming, well, he’s the legend among legends.
They earned their titles through merit, if Zhu Ping’an gets ennobled too, his name will surely echo through history.
“What else, this is 40,000 pirates wiped out, not 400.” Vice-Minister Wang said miserably, yanking out clumps of his hair.
