“Taste the craftsmanship of our town, good sirs! Come, come, eat to your hearts’ content. Don’t worry about running out—we’ve got another pot cooking at home. Once this one’s finished, we’ll bring another!”
The townsfolk rewarding the troops were so enthusiastic, carrying food to the city gates and warmly inviting the gate guards to dig in.
“Here’s the plan: half of you come try the townsfolk’s cooking, the other half stay at the gate. Keep an eye out for pirates trying to ram the gate. Eat quickly, then switch!”
Seeing the local official, Cao, nod in approval, and with the townsfolk so enthusiastic, the aroma of meat stew and dishes making the guards’ mouths water, the gate captain waved his hand, splitting the guards into two groups to take turns eating and standing watch.
Quickly, the guards divided themselves by a game of hand-back-hand, then each side picked a representative for a rock-paper-scissors match.
In the end, the “hand” side won, and those guards happily set aside their swords, muskets, and other weapons. They placed shields and the like to one side, took off cumbersome helmets and armour, and, under the townsfolk’s warm invitations, went to enjoy the feast.
The townsfolk eagerly served bowls of meat soup, rice, and large portions of vegetables in big bowls, each piled high. Stacks of fried egg pancakes were handed to every guard.
“It’s delicious, so fragrant…”
A guard took a sip of the meat soup, a rich blend of chicken, pork, and fish broth, brimming with ingredients. The bowl was packed with chicken, pork, and fish, the soup so savoury and fresh it felt like swallowing one’s tongue. It was too good, and they couldn’t stop praising it.
The egg pancakes were just as fragrant, each made with at least two eggs. One bite filled the mouth with satisfying richness.
Slurping and smacking, the guards ate with gusto. The sounds of sipping soup and chewing drew the souls out of the guards still on duty, who swallowed hard, salivating.
“Sirs, the soup’s a bit hot, and who knows how long it’ll take to cool. Let us bring you some egg pancakes to tide you over. Don’t worry, you can eat them while guarding the gate—it won’t slow you down.”
The townsfolk, warm and considerate, men and women, young and old, took egg pancakes from baskets and handed them to the guards on duty.
“Sirs, lend us a knife. We’ll slice up the roasted suckling pig and whole lamb for you, make it easier to eat. These are best eaten hot. If they cool down, they won’t taste as good.”
A few townsfolk asked to borrow knives from the guards, saying they’d slice the roasted pig and lamb while still hot.
“Take them, take them,” the guards waved carelessly.
A few townsfolk grabbed short knives from the wall’s base, tested the blades, praised their quality, and began slicing the roasted meat in front of everyone. The slices were thin and even, clearly the work of skilled hands accustomed to wielding knives.
“Your knife skills are bloody brilliant!”
“Impressive, impressive.”
The guards, eating and watching, praised their exquisite knife work, cheering loudly.
“We’ve got a special trick for slicing meat, called the ‘Whirlwind of the Meat Forest,’” the meat-slicing townsfolk boasted.
“Oh, then we’ve got to see this so-called ‘Whirlwind of the Meat Forest’—what kind of spectacle deserves to be called a masterpiece!”
The guards were brimming with curiosity.
“Come closer, sirs, and see,” the townsfolk said, showing off and warmly inviting the guards to gather round.
The guards, dipping egg pancakes in meat soup and slurping from their bowls, crowded closer to watch the townsfolk’s “Whirlwind of the Meat Forest” trick.
“Watch closely, sirs.”
The townsfolk drew the guards’ attention to their hands, and as the guards watched, they saw a short knife swing in a circular arc…
Bloody hell, something’s wrong! Why’s that arc so close to our necks? The guards, only after the knives swung, realised how dangerously close they were. Was this just the boldness of skilled artisans?
No!
They’re trying to kill us!
The guards only understood this as the blades sliced through their necks, severing arteries, blood spurting like fountains. The world spun, and their bodies crashed heavily to the ground.
“Hahaha, this is the Whirlwind of the Meat Forest! You’re just a forest of meat, and with one whirlwind slash, we cut you all down!”
The “townsfolk” brandished their blood-dripping knives, laughing maniacally, and continued hacking at the nearby guards.
As they performed their “Whirlwind of the Meat Forest,” the men, women, and children diligently handing egg pancakes to the gate guards almost simultaneously flung the pancakes into the guards’ faces. They reached into their clothes, pulled out sharp knives, and stabbed fiercely at the guards.
What the hell? Weren’t they bringing us egg pancakes? Why’d they suddenly get angry and throw them in our faces?
Madness!
The gate guards, stunned by the pancakes, hadn’t even reacted when they saw the townsfolk, warm as family a second ago, transform into grimacing demons, thrusting blades into their livers.
“Help…”
“Some—”
Cries for help and calls for backup were cut off, silenced by blades twisting in their livers.
At the same time, the other townsfolk rewarding the troops sprang into action. Some pulled knives from their clothes, others grabbed blades from basket bottoms, some fished butcher knives from the soup, and others picked up weapons the guards had carelessly left by the roadside. In a coordinated move, they seized any available blade and, without hesitation, slashed and stabbed at the guards around them, showing no mercy.
In an instant, the “townsfolk’s” smiles turned into butchers’ sneers. The warm offering of food and drink became a slaughter, the scene gruesomely bloody.
“Scoundrels! Someone, anyone, quickly help me wipe out these traitorous scum colluding with the pirates!”
Cao, the Jiangyin official, was the first to notice something was wrong. He shouted a curse and called for his men to suppress the traitors.
But before his men could arrive, a long spear came instead. With a scream, it pierced his body, pinning him diagonally to the ground, his eyes wide open in death.
“Noisy!”
A young, sturdy “townsman” clapped his hands and spat disdainfully.
Caught off guard, the guards suffered heavy losses before they could react. By the time they did, they had no weapons, their martial skills were mediocre, and, unarmed, they could only scream as they were slaughtered.
Soon, the gate guards were cut down in disarray, fleeing like rats, their formation shattered.
