He suddenly remembered Jiang Nan’s earlier instructions.
Strike while the iron is hot. Don’t give the granny any time to think.
Go straight for the kill.
Zhao Dezhu strode forward.
Without a word, he dropped to one knee in front of Granny Li.
BOOM.
The floorboards cracked, a huge hole appearing beneath his knee. Perfect momentum.
“Honghong. Every mistake is my fault. In this life I only love you.”
“Please forgive me, okay?”
He opened his massive hand and held it out to her.
The palm was completely empty.
Zhao Dezhu: !!!
Change, damn it. Hurry up and change for me.
[Resentment from Zhao Dezhu +1000]
Jiang Nan, crouching in the bushes, hurriedly opened a space wormhole right over Zhao Dezhu’s palm.
A single red rose slowly “grew” out of it.
“Honghong. In my heart you are exactly like this rose. Apart from you, there is no room for anyone else.”
Li Hongyan stared at the rose in shock. Her heartbeat quickened. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
But she still pouted angrily. “You think one lousy flower is enough for me to forgive you?”
“Keep dreaming.”
Zhao Dezhu: !!!
Didn’t you say a simple magic-flower trick would fix everything?
What now? How do I reply?
Panicking, Zhao Dezhu frantically winked toward the window.
The rose slowly retracted into his palm.
Then a pink card emerged in its place.
Zhao Dezhu looked closely. The wrapper clearly read:
“Pink Memory Hotel. Room 318.”
His face went black instantly.
A hotel key card? You actually made a bloody hotel key card appear?
What the hell is Pink Memory?
The name alone sounds dodgy as hell.
Aaaaaah. Jiang Nan. I will never share the same sky with you again.
[Resentment from Zhao Dezhu +1000]
His murderous glare shot toward the window.
Jiang Nan in the bushes: (՞ټ՞)☞
Zhao Dezhu nearly exploded on the spot.
I never should have trusted your nonsense.
Just wait. I’m coming out to beat you till you cry right now.
Li Hongyan’s face flushed crimson, eyelashes fluttering.
She snatched the card and stuffed it into her pocket.
Shyly she spat, “Peh. Dirty old man. Come find me after ten tonight.”
“Whether I forgive you depends on your performance tonight.”
Zhao Dezhu: Σ(°Д°;)
Wait… what?
It worked? Just like that?
One little hotel card and it’s done?
His brain completely short-circuited.
Is Jiang Nan really this good? Straight to the point. So direct?
Performance tonight?
Then I definitely have to perform well tonight.
Li Hongyan stepped forward, grabbed Zhao Dezhu’s huge hand, and said bashfully, “What are you standing there for? Get up.”
She helped him to his feet.
Jiang Nan instantly opened another wormhole beside Zhao Dezhu’s ear and whispered urgently, “Kabedon her now. Kiss your granny. Then it’s sealed.”
Zhao Dezhu’s eyes lit up. He stepped forward.
Pinned Li Hongyan against the wall. Slammed his huge hand beside her head.
BOOM.
His hand punched straight through the wall. He planted a big kiss on her forehead.
“Mwah.”
“Aiya~ you dirty old man. Why the rush? Wait till tonight.”
Zhao Dezhu laughed heartily. “I’ll come again tonight.”
He was over the moon.
He practically floated down the stairs.
The moment he reached the entrance, a crowd of pretty young girls swarmed him.
“Grandpa Pillar. Can I have your autograph? You’re so handsome today.”
“My little heart is going thump-thump.”
“Can we take a picture together, Grandpa Pillar~?”
Zhao Dezhu swallowed. This Heartthrob Combo is this powerful?
Am I really this popular with the girls now?
“Of course. Photos and autographs, no problem.”
The girls giggled. “Grandpa Pillar is the best.”
“Closer. A bit closer, please.”
“Can I touch Grandpa Pillar’s muscles? Oh my god, so manly.”
Surrounded by sweet voices and gentle laughter, Zhao Dezhu’s grin stretched from ear to ear.
Jiang Nan started panicking. “Pillar Grandpa. Let’s go. What are you still doing? It’s almost thirty minutes.”
Zhao Dezhu grinned. “No rush. Let me finish signing and taking pictures. What’s there to be afraid of?”
Jiang Nan shrugged. “Good luck then.
He teleported away and vanished.
Back in the room, Granny Li clutched the hotel card, heart racing.
“No, no, ten is too late. He should come earlier…”
She jogged downstairs, only to see Zhao Dezhu surrounded by girls.
One girl held his finger. “Grandpa Pillar, can you tell me stories about the Spirit Catastrophe tonight? I really want to hear them.”
Zhao Dezhu beamed. “Sure. But I’m busy tonight. Maybe in the early hours.”
The girl giggled. “Then I’ll leave the door open for Grandpa Pillar.”
Zhao Dezhu laughed. “Haha, Grandpa’s stories are super exciting.”
“Oh? Are they now?”
A cold voice cut in.
Zhao Dezhu’s smile froze. Cold sweat poured down.
He turned stiffly. Li Hongyan stood there, face expressionless.
“H-Honghong, why are you here? It’s not what you think. I…”
Li Hongyan narrowed her eyes. “I’m quite curious how exciting your stories actually are.”
Zhao Dezhu panicked. “I swear to the heavens. I only love you. I have no interest in those young girls.”
“If I ever betray you, see that streetlamp? If it goes out I…”
POP.
The bulb exploded instantly.
Zhao Dezhu’s face locked up.
Seriously? Right now?
I’m in a life-or-death crisis here. Stop messing around.
Li Hongyan gritted her teeth, eyes blazing. “Then you can go out with it.”
Zhao Dezhu: !!!
“No… not that one. That one over there.”
He pointed.
POP.
Another bulb exploded.
“That one.”
POP.
“No, no, the one over there.”
POP.
[Resentment from Zhao Dezhu +1000]
His luck is abysmal today.
Streetlamp assassin? Are you kidding me?
Li Hongyan’s temples throbbed.
“You still have any last words, Streetlamp Killer?”
Zhao Dezhu’s face turned green.
Someone is definitely screwing with me on purpose. This isn’t funny.
Desperate, he pointed at the sky and roared,
“Honghong. My feelings for you are true.”
“If I ever betray you, may the heavens strike me with five thunderbolts.”
A pillar of lightning as thick as a millstone crashed down from the sky straight onto his bald head.
CRACK.
His hat disintegrated. A holy beam of light shone from his shiny scalp.
Zhao Dezhu was charred black, white smoke pouring from his mouth.
It actually struck me.
Are you for real?
[Resentment from Zhao Dezhu +1000]
Everyone around was dumbfounded.
Exactly how many bad things has Old Zhao done behind Granny Li’s back to get struck by lightning?
CRACK.
Another bolt.
CRACK. CRACK. CRACK.
Three more in rapid succession.
Five thunderbolts, perfectly delivered.
Li Hongyan’s eyes turned blood-red. Her whole body turned metallic. Her berserk spiritual pressure sent students flying.
“Scumbag Pillar. I’m going to hack you to pieces today.”
She charged, tackled him to the ground, straddled him, and hammered his vital regions.
Zhao Dezhu wailed, “Ow ow ow. Stop hitting. I still want sons. Mercy.”
Li Hongyan raged, “Today I’m going to see just how exciting your story really is.”
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
[Resentment from Zhao Dezhu +1000]
“Honghong, calm down. I…”
Li Hongyan straightened two fingers. Metal warped.
They turned into scissors: ✄
“Today I’m giving you a fancy trim.”
✄⌒✄〰✄෴
“Noooo. Honghong. You’re so cruel.”
[Resentment from Zhao Dezhu +1000]
The surrounding students and elders shivered in horror.
“Wow. So brutal. So bloody.”
“Don’t look. You’ll have nightmares tonight.”
“Who could survive that?”
Jiang Nan strolled back to the square.
Behind him came flashes of lightning, screams, and the ground shaking.
He pursed his lips. “Shield of China… should be able to tank it, right~”
