The Reincarnation Saint looked at Lan Xiaobu with a mix of helplessness and disbelief, it was the first time he’d seen someone so invested in another’s Great Dao. If he didn’t know Lan Xiaobu aimed to use Su Cen to prove the Reincarnation Great Dao and refine his Dao heart, he’d wonder if Lan Xiaobu had lost his mind.
“Fine, but Wuliang is genuinely terrifying, we must plan thoroughly before acting,” the Reincarnation Saint sighed, agreeing to Lan Xiaobu’s request. For his own Sixth-Turn ascension, Lan Xiaobu showed no fear, if he kept hesitating, his own Dao heart would suffer.
Once the Reincarnation Pot entered the void, its speed surged. The Reincarnation Saint went to prepare for his Sixth-Turn proof, while Lan Xiaobu began examining Su Cen’s ring.
Inside Su Cen’s ring were some spare clothes, low-grade immortal artifacts, and a handful of mid- and low-grade immortal crystals, not a single high-grade one.
Lan Xiaobu sighed, seeing Su Cen kept even basic magical tools and spiritual artifacts showed how tough her life had been. She’d reached Immortal King level, she shouldn’t lack high-grade immortal crystals, it could only mean she wasn’t well-off, likely using them all up during her tribulation.
In a corner of the ring, Lan Xiaobu picked up a pendant, a heart-shaped diamond with a wing-like design inside, as if ready to take flight. This was the Blue Wing Star he’d left for Su Cen, delivered through Luo Caishi.
The pendant lay carelessly tossed in the ring, its cord snapped, suggesting Su Cen had torn it off in a rush before her death and thrown it in.
Holding the Blue Wing Star, a wave of sorrow surged in Lan Xiaobu’s chest.
After a long while, he carefully placed the pendant into a jade box and stored it in his personal world.
Su Cen’s ring held pitifully few items, even the materials and immortal herbs were the lowest of the low.
Lan Xiaobu felt a pang of frustration, he knew why, Su Cen’s cultivation technique wasn’t advanced, likely just a common one before chasing the Imperishable Great Dao. Her rise to Immortal King relied more on raw talent.
With a mediocre technique, her combat strength wouldn’t be impressive, so Su Cen, aware of the cultivation world’s brutality, stayed in remote areas, never acquiring much of value.
After another long silence, Lan Xiaobu pulled a wooden box from the ring.
It was crafted from Xianxun wood, an eighth-grade immortal material, probably the most valuable item in Su Cen’s ring, and she’d used it for a simple box.
Opening it, Lan Xiaobu was puzzled to find only a diary inside.
He took out the diary, immediately sensing Su Cen’s aura, she must have frequently written in it.
Honestly, an Immortal King keeping a diary was a first for Lan Xiaobu, even an Earth Immortal’s sea of consciousness could store endless details without forgetting, who needed a diary?
Flipping it open, the first page was dotted with stains, clearly tear marks.
The next page had more tears but was filled with writing.
July 21, 2061, clear. I don’t know how long it’s been since I last wrote, but I have no one to confide in. I’ve reached the Soul Refining Realm, the sect leader and everyone are thrilled, yet deep down, I feel no joy, only endless sorrow.
I’ve regained my memories, I now know what Lan Xiaobu means to me, he’s my husband, the only one who still cared if I was alive or living well.
I see myself on that sickbed again, that hunched figure working tirelessly to save me, he was just over thirty, yet his hair was white, he’d aged so much…
I finally understand what his last message meant, “I can’t stay with you this life, take care of yourself…”
As my memories sharpen, I see myself leaving the protective wall, I didn’t want to burden Xiaobu, I told him I was sorry, I had to go first. But I saw his frantic despair, those heartbreaking eyes, that’s when I knew I’d been wrong. He lived for me, leaving the wall didn’t help him, it filled him with despair.
I’m sorry, I wanted to say I’m sorry, I’ve dragged you down too much.
All I see is his shadow.
I told him, “If there’s a next life, don’t marry me, be selfish like me, find someone who loves you…”
But he said, Cen Cen, if you’re gone, can I still live? Without you, I don’t know what I’m living for. If there’s a next life, I’d marry you again, because no one else would look after you, and I’d worry.
I hate my selfishness, my heartlessness, I hoped he’d live peacefully after his dantian broke, just because of that.
In our last life, when I was gravely ill, he stayed by my side day and night, when I left the barrier, his desperate eyes are as clear as if they’re before me now, he worried for me. This life, when his dantian shattered, I sighed that his life was over, I worried for myself, afraid he’d drag me down.
I wonder how heartbroken he was when I rejected him, how lost he felt when I returned the Blue Wing Star, I think I shattered his heart. How could a man with a broken dantian survive?
If time could rewind, I’d rather be with him in that end-of-days ward, in that dark room, waiting each day for his exhausted return, just to have a little more time together.
If time could rewind, I wouldn’t cultivate, wouldn’t be New Yuan Sect’s top genius disciple, I’d rather walk slowly through life with a broken-dantian him.
If time could rewind, I wouldn’t marry him to escape, I’d marry him openly, I’d tell Xiaobu that the moment I crawled out of the barrier, I knew I’d fallen for him.
I hate the heavens, since I’ve been reborn too, why did my memories only return after Soul Refining? If I couldn’t reach that realm, would I never have recalled my past life?
…
October 7, overcast with rain. The south is almost always draped in drizzle, maybe like me, my heart never dries.
I’ve searched nearly every corner of the south, no trace of Xiaobu, I won’t give up, even if I have to turn over every inch of Earth, I’ll find him.
December 3, light snow.
I don’t know where in the north this is, it was snowing when I arrived, no matter how heavy the snow, I’ll find Xiaobu, then ask him, “You said you’d marry me again in the next life, does that still count?”
…
Lan Xiaobu’s hands trembled, he felt he’d been wrong, he’d always thought Su Cen never truly loved him, so when he returned to Earth, it was just to prove his Great Dao.
He thought he’d grasped his Dao, but he’d missed so much, some things he hadn’t truly understood, he’d acted on his own assumptions, or Su Cen’s thoughts before her death in their last life, he hadn’t considered her final moments, it wasn’t fair to her.
The middle pages chronicled Su Cen’s search, she jotted down notes at each stop, sometimes recalling their days surviving in that dark end-of-days room.
Lan Xiaobu read on, every page detailing her quest for him, from south to north, deserts to seas, jungles to mountains…
She searched for twenty years, until January 11, 2081.
“I found Eddie’s disciple Cui Yi, he told me Xiaobu’s cultivation is incredibly strong and he’s left Earth. I don’t blame him, I know I hurt him too deeply. I told my disciple Qingting I’m leaving Earth too, even if I fall in the void, I’ll find Xiaobu, I have to ask him that question, I won’t regret it, because I know it’s not about gratitude, I just want to marry him.”
Lan Xiaobu’s eyes reddened, he’d met Su Cen’s disciple Mu Qingting on Earth, even saved her, he’d learned from her that Su Cen had left.
Before seeing this diary, he’d thought Su Cen sought him out of gratitude.
…
“It’s probably September, I think, in the void, I can’t sense Earth’s time, I’ve drifted for over half a year, nearly died in a void vortex, but I survived.”
“I found a massive meteorite, entered it, and saw a skeleton holding a spatial ring.”
“Almost got hit by a meteorite today, if I hadn’t found a decent ship in the ring, I’d have died in the void…”
Later entries lacked dates, Su Cen couldn’t track time in the void, though each line was brief, Lan Xiaobu read with his heart pounding, countless times she’d narrowly escaped death, her survival and rise to Great Qin Immortal Realm was a miracle.
“I’m so lucky, I met people from the Shenken Cultivation Realm in the void, followed them there, I don’t have to drift anymore.”
“I heard Thunder Sword Sect is recruiting disciples, I’ll try my luck, maybe I can join a sect.”
