Ye Qiu could not help but wish he could slap the long-browed immortal across the face; how could he say such a thing, utterly disgusting!
What was most exasperating was that Lin Da Niao, upon hearing the long-browed immortal’s words, chuckled and said, “Daoist, how about you and I compare?”
The long-browed immortal curled his lip disdainfully and said, “There is no comparison between us; yours is a mere toothpick.”
Lin Da Niao was displeased and said, “Daoist, you are looking down on people; no more words, let us drop our trousers and see the truth.”
“Poor Daoist was merely joking; there is no need for that.” The long-browed immortal immediately changed the subject and asked, “Da Niao, how did your father come to give you such a name?”
“Do not mention it.” Lin Da Niao said, “I heard that when my mother gave birth to me, my father was in the midst of castrating a spirit beast, and that beast’s thing happened to be rather large; my father, being unlettered, casually named me thus.”
It seemed this fellow was not only an oddity; his father was one as well.
Ye Qiu asked, “How long have you been away from home?”
Lin Da Niao said, “More than a year.”
Ye Qiu asked again, “Apart from today, have you treated any other people?”
Lin Da Niao looked proud and said, “Of course.”
“Tell us about it.”
And so, Lin Da Niao recounted them one by one.
“In the spring of last year, I treated an old man who was suffering from severe headaches; I slapped him unconscious with one palm, he remained in a coma for three days, and when he awoke, his head no longer hurt.”
“In May of last year, a young lad came to me with toothache; I devised a method and pulled out all his teeth, and indeed, he never had toothache again.”
“In August of last year, I encountered a charming widow on the road; she suffered from a chill syndrome and felt cold every night, so I held her and slept with her for half a month, finally curing her chill, though it left my back aching from the effort.”
“Then in the winter of last year, I treated the daughter of a wealthy household; I used the wrong medicine by mistake and accidentally gave her an aphrodisiac pill; to save her, I sacrificed myself and, out of necessity, consummated the act with her…”
What a case of having one’s cake and eating it, the epitome of shamelessness!
“And this spring…”
Lin Da Niao spoke endlessly of his exploits in treating and saving people, gesticulating animatedly, his expression one of considerable pride.
“Enough, say no more.”
Ye Qiu truly could not bear to listen any longer and interrupted him; this was no mere quack doctor, but a thoroughgoing scoundrel!
If this were the secular world, Ye Qiu would unhesitatingly slap Lin Da Niao to death with one palm.
The long-browed immortal, with an expression of admiration, said, “Da Niao, I never would have thought you had saved so many people; impressive!”
“Haha, it is nothing worth mentioning; you flatter me, Daoist.” Lin Da Niao demurred politely for a moment, then, with a proud face, continued, “From a young age, I set my aspiration to make saving lives and healing the wounded the highest principle of my life; though I have saved many and earned the reputation of a divine healer, I know that one must never grow arrogant in life; I must continue to save people…”
Continue saving people?
I reckon you mean continue harming them!
Ye Qiu said, “Da Niao, we have been travelling for several days and are rather fatigued; you should return to your room and rest; we need to sleep as well.”
“Very well, I shall not disturb you gentlemen any longer; farewell.” Lin Da Niao finished speaking and turned to leave the room.
As soon as he left, the long-browed immortal burst into laughter and said, “This dead fatty truly is a treasure; he made me laugh to death.”
Ye Qiu sighed and said, “This fatty’s heart is not bad, it is just that his medical skills are utterly abysmal; if he carries on like this, who knows how many people will fall victim to his hand.”
The long-browed immortal lay down and said, “If not for you today, this fatty would already be dead; a perfectly good veterinarian, yet he insists on treating humans; his brain must be waterlogged.”
“Bloody hell, this bed is too hard, and the quilt is not soft either; I truly miss the secular world.”
“If we were in the secular world, we could call for two lasses to massage our legs.”
“Enough, get some rest!” Ye Qiu finished speaking and lay down on the other bed.
The two had not yet fallen asleep.
“Knock knock.”
Suddenly, there came a knocking at the door.
“Who is it?” the long-browed immortal asked.
“It is I, Da Niao.” Lin Da Niao’s voice sounded from outside, asking, “Have you gone to sleep yet?”
“Not yet; do you need us for something?” the long-browed immortal said. “Come in!”
Creak.
Lin Da Niao pushed open the door and walked in from outside, grinning as he said, “Gentlemen, I have brought you a surprise.”
A surprise?
Ye Qiu and the long-browed immortal exchanged a glance, wondering what mischief this fatty was up to.
“What surprise?” the long-browed immortal asked.
“You will know in a moment.” Lin Da Niao clapped his hands, and at once, two veiled women entered from outside.
The two women wore long skirts, with slender waists, and their long legs were faintly visible.
“Gentlemen, they are yours for tonight; enjoy them well; I shall take my leave.” Lin Da Niao finished speaking and departed.
“Wait.” Ye Qiu glanced at the two women and asked, “What do you mean?”
“Brother, you are a man; surely you understand?” Lin Da Niao grinned lecherously and said, “These two women are the finest I hired from the best pleasure house in the city; they are but sixteen years of age and skilled in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting; you said you were tired, so I had them come to attend to you…”
Ye Qiu did not wait for Lin Da Niao to finish and said sternly, “We do not need them; take them away.”
Lin Da Niao looked troubled and said, “Brother, I paid a heavy sum to hire them.”
“Send them away.” Ye Qiu’s attitude was resolute.
“You little brat, since this is Da Niao’s kind intention, why not accept it graciously?” The long-browed immortal finished speaking and said to the two women, “Ladies, remove your veils!”
The two women dithered coyly and removed their veils; upon seeing their faces, the long-browed immortal’s expression changed dramatically.
“Da Niao, these two ladies are of unparalleled beauty, but we are not worthy of such enjoyment; you should keep them for yourself!”
The long-browed immortal was on the verge of retching; one woman was covered in pockmarks, while the other had a flat, collapsed nose.
Lin Da Niao said, “I asked the madam of the pleasure house, and she said these two ladies have the finest techniques; perhaps you gentlemen might reconsider.”
“No need to reconsider; have them attend to you instead.” The long-browed immortal rejected him outright.
“Very well then.” Lin Da Niao was somewhat helpless, waved his hand to send the two women out first, then asked, “Gentlemen, do you perhaps not like women, but are interested in men?”
“If that is the case, then I shall make another trip to the pleasure house.”
“The madam said they have sturdy young lads there as well.”
It is you who fancies men, you bastard.
The long-browed immortal suppressed his anger and said, “Da Niao, we appreciate your kindness, but we are truly exhausted and need to sleep.”
Lin Da Niao said, “Then rest well, gentlemen… Oh, right; when I first went to the pleasure house, I heard a piece of news.”
Ye Qiu asked, “What news?”
