The storyteller swayed his head and waved his hands, his expressions exaggerated with grins, scowls, and curses, sometimes mimicking the Japanese pirates, other times the Zhejiang army, his impressions vivid and lifelike, weaving a tale so immersive that the tea stall crowd was fully engrossed.
With a final slap of the gavel block, the audience lingered in the thrill, only snapping back as cheers erupted.
“Well told! Lord Zhu’s the Star of Literature indeed, every Spring Festival, even heaven needs couplets, right? Not just the Thunder God, all the celestial immortals, even the Jade Emperor and Queen Mother, line up at his door for them. A day up there’s a year down here, they need couplets daily, begging the Star of Literature constantly, of course they’re tight, one wave from him, and the Thunder God’s on board, thirty celestial bolts? Three hundred’d be no issue!”
“Great! I heard those earth-shaking booms outside too, damn, the ground quaked, my wife thought the walls collapsed, wet half the bed in fright, I wasn’t much better, outdid her, the kids weren’t far behind… Our whole family was trembling, ready to hide in the cellar and leave it to fate, then came the victory shouts, saying over 10,000 pirates got blasted, damn, all that pee for nothing…”
“Haha, Hu Laosan, your family’s a bunch of champs…”
“Ain’t that right? If you all pissed like us, we’d have drowned those bastard pirates outside!”
“Haha… Hu Laosan, you’re a riot, if not for Lord Zhu’s brilliance, divine as a god, driving them off, all your piss wouldn’t help, those pirates came from the sea, wave-riders, they don’t drown.”
“Thanks to Lord Zhu, we kept our lives, he’s like a god descended, 2,000 men beheading over 10,000, sending 50,000 pirates packing…”
The tea stall buzzed with lively chatter, roaring laughter, heartfelt praise for Zhu Ping’an and the Zhejiang army.
At the stall sat a noble household, centred around a heavily pregnant young lady, her belly as big as a full-term mother’s, dressed in fine silks, moving with grace, exuding an air of nobility like a fairy come to earth, flanked by attendants, two maids close by, two more plus two older women nearby, six burly guards encircling the table.
Though they took a table, they didn’t touch the stall’s fare, eating their own brought food.
Still, the noble lady was generous, tossing the storyteller a ten-tael silver ingot, and footing the bill for a giant pot of soy milk and spicy soup, treating everyone present for free.
She seemed fond of gossip, relishing the storyteller’s tales and the crowd’s banter.
Perhaps life in a grand estate grew stifling, and she craved the earthy bustle of the streets.
Her entourage screamed high status, the tea stall folk cast curious glances but dared not intrude.
Who’d dare? Those six guards were hulking, sharp-eyed, clearly seasoned fighters.
“Hee hee, Miss, did you hear? They say the master’s the Star of Literature, calling the Thunder God to drop thirty bolts, wiping out ten or twenty thousand pirates, hee hee, the master summoning thunder…”
Bun-sized maid Hua’er couldn’t hold it in, giggling behind her hand, her belly aching from laughter.
“They say the world’s talent’s ten measures, and the master’s got eight, with fiery golden eyes no illusion can hide from, they say he’s a master of divination, his words like divine talismans, hee hee… sorry, Miss, I can’t help it…”
Qin’er also giggled, covering her mouth.
Li Shu’s eyes crinkled with laughter too, one hand gently rubbing her belly to calm the two little ones, who seemed to be somersaulting inside, maybe thrilled by the tale.
“Your dad’s a god descended, and you two are flipping rivers in there, he ought to spank you into obedience…”
Li Shu scolded her belly with a playful huff.
They lingered at the stall a bit longer, still hooked, before tossing the storyteller another reward, buying out the stall’s meat buns and fried dough twists, carried by guards as they headed toward the refugee-packed area.
In her sedan, Li Shu’s delicate hand lifted the curtain, softly asking, “Are the pigs and sheep for rewarding Zhu-gege ready?”
“Miss, at the third watch when we heard the pirates came, you said the master’d win big and told me to buy pigs and sheep to reward the army, 100 pigs, 200 sheep, bought and slaughtered overnight, cooked by now, they’re at the gate, waiting for it to open to rush to the master’s camp.”
A middle-aged guard stepped up to report, honestly, at the third watch hearing of the pirate attack, he’d worried for the master outside, but Miss was different, she’d declared a big win and ordered the livestock.
“Good, well done.” Li Shu nodded, satisfied, then asked, “How much gunpowder’s been gathered, send it with the reward to Zhu-gege.”
“Forgive me, Miss, I’m dim, even flashing the master’s name card, I only got 800 jin from the firecracker workshops, officials questioned me, only relenting after seeing the card.”
The guard reported, ashamed.
“800 jin’s too little, this morning’s barrage outside likely used at least that much.”
Li Shu shook her head slightly, instructing, “If you can’t buy gunpowder, get sulphur, saltpetre, and charcoal, send it all with the reward to Zhu-gege. Also, use his name card to petition the officials, see if the city can spare some gunpowder for him, the Zhejiang army relies on firearms, firearms rely on gunpowder, we can’t let it run short.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The guard bowed and stepped back to arrange it.
“Miss, when the pirates hit at the third watch, how’d you know the master’d win big?” Hua’er chirped curiously.
“Hee hee, Hua’er, the master’s a god descended, a master diviner, and Miss is a fairy come to earth, she’s got the gift too.”
Qin’er giggled beside her.
“The master’s a god, Miss a fairy, then we’re the little maids serving the fairy, come down too…”
Hua’er joined in the giggles.
After a bout of laughter, Hua’er’s curiosity lingered, she asked again, “Miss, I still don’t get it, how’d you know at the third watch the master’d win big?”
“Because he’s Zhu Ping’an.” Li Shu smiled gently.
