As the meeting in the Western Garden neared its end, a tsunami-like frenzy erupted in Beijing’s West Horse Market.
“Dear heavens, there’s a spectacle at West Horse Market! A group of officials from Suzhou arrived, bringing hundreds of Japanese pirate captives and over ten thousand pirate heads—loaded onto more than a dozen carts, packed to the brim with heads!”
“Hurry up, or we’ll miss the good spots! The officials said the court hasn’t accepted the captives yet—they’re being held at the idle horse market for now. Once the court sends people to take them, we won’t get to see anymore!”
“They say Japanese pirates have three heads and six arms, iron teeth and bronze jaws—let’s go see! Old lady, what are you doing?”
“I’m grabbing two rotten eggs! I’ve heard these pirates are rotten to the core—pussing heads and festering feet. Down south, they’ve tormented our people—murder, arson, abducting girls. I’ve got to chuck a couple of rotten eggs at them to avenge the victims!”
“Come on, West Horse Market’s got pirate captives and over a hundred carts of heads! Move it, or we’ll miss out! Don’t bring the kids—too many heads, all bloody and gruesome.”
Word spread like wildfire among the common folk, who rallied friends and neighbors to head to West Horse Market to see the Suzhou contingent’s captives and heads.
Soon, West Horse Market became the liveliest place in the capital—hands down.
How lively? Jugglers, beggars, and snack vendors flocked to the edges of the Suzhou tribute site, setting up shop with roaring business.
The 400-plus pirate captives became like monkeys in a zoo, gawked at by a sea of people who cursed, pointed, and pelted them with rotten eggs and wilted cabbage leaves.
“Baka!”
“Die, die!”
“You’re asking for it!”
Covered in a mess of filth, the captives lost control, baring their teeth and snarling threats. Usually, people feared them—kneeling, kowtowing, or fleeing in terror. Who’d dare throw rotten eggs and cabbage at them? Now drenched in muck, their rage boiled over.
“Bloody hell, no wonder they’re pirates—so damn fierce! Look at that weird hair—like a dog chewed it. Short little buggers, but they look like they grew up eating dead rats—sharp-faced and vicious as hell.”
“Throw more at him—let him snarl!”
“Snarl all you want—you’re captured now! Keep it up, and I’ll bash your skull in with a brick, you bastard!”
“Whoa! Who threw that brick? Ha, spot on—that rat-faced pirate’s head’s cracked open!”
Their threats only drew more cabbage and eggs— even bricks and other weapons. Several pirates ended up with bleeding heads, howling in pain and cursing louder.
“Settle down! Keep baring your teeth, and I’ll give you a proper thrashing—remind you of my methods!”
The Zhejiang soldiers guarding them saw the pirates’ outburst and stepped in, whips in hand. *Crack, crack*—a few lashes landed.
Every snarling pirate got a taste—no exceptions.
In moments, their skin split open under the blows.
The pirates shrank back, recalling the terror of being dominated by the Zhejiang troops on the battlefield and disciplined on the journey. Like quails, they ducked their heads, not daring to snarl again.
“Good, good! Worthy of the Zhejiang troops—taming these filthy pirates into obedient grandsons!”
“Of course! These pirates were caught by the Zhejiang boys—those carts of heads? All chopped off by them!”
“To them, the Zhejiang troops are their grim reapers. When the reaper says behave, do they dare disobey?”
“Zhejiang troops—well done!”
“That’s our boys! The moment these pirates got fierce with us, they swung those whips and tore them apart. Serves them right—let’s see them try that again. We’ve got the Zhejiang troops backing us!”
The crowd cheered as the Zhejiang soldiers upheld their honor, whipping the pirates into submission.
“Folks, these pirates are still needed for the court tribute—they can’t die yet! Toss your eggs and cabbage to vent, but no bricks. If you kill them, they can’t be presented. Once they’re offered up, whether they’re executed or carved up, it’s our call—they won’t get off easy.”
“Killing them now would be letting them off too lightly. Let them suffer first, then finish them.”
Liu Mu and the Suzhou officials took turns calming the furious crowd, ensuring the captives weren’t stoned to death.
“Well said! Killing them now would be too good for them!”
“The Zhejiang troops worked hard to catch these bastards for the tribute—let’s not ruin it by killing them.”
“Right, stick to eggs and cabbage. After the Zhejiang troops present them and the court beheads them at the Meridian Gate, we’ll get our revenge proper. Let’s not mess up their big moment.”
The crowd, reasonable at heart, agreed after Liu Mu’s words, vowing to ditch the bricks for eggs and leaves.
As the onlookers watched eagerly, Liu Mu, following Zhu Ping’an’s instructions, began educating them about the pirates.
“Folks, take a look—these pirates come in two kinds: true pirates and fake pirates. True pirates are like these ones,” Liu Mu said, pointing his whip at a few. “They’re from the Japanese islands, crossing the sea by boat—wandering samurai, skilled in combat, fierce and bold.”
“Fake pirates are these lot—originally our Ming citizens, from all walks of life. Traitors, madmen, and scoundrels who joined the pirates to pillage and kill, committing every evil. Fearing punishment for their clans, they mimic the Japanese, shaving their heads like dog-chewed messes and dressing like them.”
After explaining true and fake pirates, Liu Mu pointed to the carts of heads. “Folks, these are pirate heads.”
“How do we tell if they’re faked by killing civilians? Here’s how.”
“First, check the heads—any elderly, women, or children? If so, there’s a good chance civilians were killed to pad the count.”
“Second, look at the shave marks. True or fake, pirates have those dog-chewed hairstyles from long ago. If the stubble’s fresh, it’s likely civilians were killed recently to fake it.”
Following Zhu Ping’an’s orders, Liu Mu carefully taught the crowd how to spot falsified merits.
“They’re all pirates—the captives are obvious, not good folk, and plenty jabber in that bird language. The heads are all young and middle-aged men—no elderly, kids, or women. The stubble’s old too.”
“Yep, all pirates.”
The crowd leaned in, nodding and vouching for the Zhejiang troops’ authenticity.
