While the little bun of a maid, Hua’er, was whispering to Zhu Ping’an, Rui Ge’er, the little terror, started a full-on chase scene in the courtyard.
“I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home!”
Like a startled bear cub, Rui Ge’er charged around the courtyard, barreling toward the exit.
A few maids and an old nanny chased after him. “Young Master, don’t run! Stop running—you’ll fall! Please stop making a fuss!”
His personal maid couldn’t keep up and stomped her feet in frustration. “Young Master, stop messing around and come back! The Marquis is still furious. If you go back now, he’ll beat you half to death!”
That wasn’t an exaggeration. After the social disaster Marquis Linhuai had suffered at home—shitting the bed, terrifying his concubine, and gasping for breath—he’d still hold back from killing the culprit only because it was his own flesh and blood.
“I’d rather be beaten half to death than eaten by a monster!”
Rui Ge’er’s chubby face was etched with fear, as if he’d just faced something no kid his age should have to endure.
“Eaten by a monster? Young Master, you’re talking nonsense again!” His maid thought he was spouting complete rubbish. Monsters? Really?
“Nonsense?! I’m telling the truth—Fifth Sister’s house really has a monster!” Rui Ge’er jumped up in indignation after being doubted.
His antics turned the courtyard into chaos—chickens clucking, dogs barking. Hearing the commotion, Li Shu emerged from the house with Qin’er’s help. Learning that Rui Ge’er was dead-set on going home, she asked curiously, “What’s wrong, Rui Ge’er? Didn’t you cry for help at lunch, begging to stay here for a few days? Why are you suddenly yelling to leave? Aren’t you afraid of Uncle beating you anymore?”
“My dear sister, come with me—let’s escape! We need to get out of here fast, or it’ll be too late!”
Rui Ge’er dashed over, grabbed Li Shu’s clothes, and tugged her toward the exit.
“Rui Ge’er, careful! Don’t knock the Young Mistress over!” Qin’er quickly stepped in to stop him.
“It’s fine. Rui Ge’er, tell Sister—what’s going on? Why do we need to escape?” Li Shu patted his head, asking with curiosity.
“Because there’s a monster in your house! If we don’t run, it’ll eat us for sure!”
Rui Ge’er said with a dead-serious face.
“Giggle, Rui Ge’er, you’re such a kid—pure imagination! There’s no such thing as monsters in this world. Even if there were, our Young Master’s the Scholar Star descended from the heavens—a god among men. He’d crush any monster with a flick of his hand,” Qin’er giggled, amused by his wild tale.
“Scholar Star descended? A god from the heavens? He’s already been eaten by the monster!”
Rui Ge’er huffed at Qin’er’s words, tilting his chubby face up 45 degrees, dropping the bombshell with a tone that screamed “you’ll regret not believing me.”
“What? You’re saying the Young Master got eaten by a monster?” Qin’er’s jaw dropped.
Then she burst out laughing. “Rui Ge’er, stop fooling around!” She shook her head, grinning. What a naughty kid—such a wild storyteller.
Li Shu smiled helplessly and shook her head too.
“Ugh, why won’t any of you believe me? I’m telling the truth!” Rui Ge’er stomped his feet in frustration as no one took him seriously.
“Alright, alright—then tell us, who’s this monster?” Qin’er asked, indulging him with a sigh.
“The monster is Sister Hua’er!” Rui Ge’er swore with absolute conviction.
“Pfft—Hua’er’s a monster?” Qin’er couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Hua’er, a monster? If anyone was least likely to be a monster in this house, it was her.
If he’d said that female bandit Ruonan was a monster, it might’ve been slightly believable. But Hua’er? No way.
“That’s right—Sister Hua’er is a monster! A deeply hidden one!” Rui Ge’er nodded emphatically.
“But no matter how well she hides, she underestimated me. I caught her—she’s a man-eating monster!”
He started bragging about his “discovery.”
“A man-eating monster? Giggle—I get it now. You said the Young Master got eaten by a monster, so you mean Hua’er ate him? Did you see it with your own eyes?” Qin’er giggled again.
“Of course! I saw it myself—I swear I did!” Rui Ge’er doubled down, swearing up and down.
“What did you see?” Qin’er asked.
“I saw Hua’er eating Brother-in-law Steamed Bun! For real—I went to the study just now to check if he’d woken up. The door was closed, and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I peeked through the crack.”
“And I saw Hua’er eating him—she even used her mouth to pull his intestines out of his belly!”
“So long!”
“She swallowed it right down!”
“She was eating Brother-in-law Steamed Bun’s intestines—what else could she be but a monster?”
“When I saw that, I was scared to death. I didn’t want to alert the monster and have her eat me too, so I turned and tiptoed away.”
Rui Ge’er described it vividly, even gesturing with his hands to show how long Zhu Ping’an’s “intestines” were.
“She pulled his intestines out of his belly? That long… huh?! Oh—” Qin’er froze for two seconds before it clicked. Her pretty face flushed red, and she spat, “What nonsense are you spouting?!”
The courtyard fell silent. Everyone’s faces turned red, and they muttered under their breath.
“Ow, Fifth Sister, you’re pinching me—it hurts!” Rui Ge’er’s cry of pain broke the quiet.
Li Shu quickly pulled her hand back from his head, smiling apologetically. “Oh, sorry, Rui Ge’er—my nails are too long. I accidentally scratched you.”
“Fifth Sister, were you scared just now too?”
“Exactly, Fifth Sister—let’s go! We need to escape now, or it’ll be too late! Forget Brother-in-law Steamed Bun. His intestines were pulled out that long by Sister Hua’er—he’s beyond saving!”
“Sister Hua’er’s a man-eating monster—this place isn’t safe. Fifth Sister, come escape with me!”
“Even if Dad beats me half to death at home, it’s better than being eaten whole here. At least I’d still have half a life!”
“Fifth Sister, hurry—let’s escape! If we wait any longer, once she finishes eating him, she’ll come for us. I’ve heard monsters have huge appetites—they can eat a whole cow, no problem. Fifth Sister, let’s go—I don’t want to be a monster’s snack!”
Rui Ge’er’s voice rang out as he tugged at Li Shu’s clothes, urging her to flee with him.
“Rui Ge’er, no need to escape. Hua’er isn’t a monster, and your brother-in-law wasn’t eaten. They were just playing around,” Li Shu said softly, patting his head again.
“Pulling out intestines is playing around?” Rui Ge’er shivered, his little face going pale.
Li Shu patted his head. “It was fake—a prop. Your brother-in-law loves teasing you, right? He knew you were peeking at the door, so he and Hua’er staged it to scare you.”
“Oh! So it was just to mess with me!” Rui Ge’er finally got it, eyes widening in realisation.
